Emet

You turned 3 years old this past Monday, October 25, 2010.  How can this even be?  I am beginning to understand what it means when older people say things such as "Where have the years gone?" or "Cherish this time.  It won't last."  When we relive memories, they come to our mind as if in a fluid form, where the passage of time is of no relevance.  I can almost look to my right or left and see myself holding you as a tiny newborn.  Pictures flood my mind.  The mind is a powerful thing. 

We went over to visit Grandma Marion on Monday, the very place we were when I went into early labor with you 3 years ago.  We had gone to Grandma's friend Jan's home to pick some pumpkins.  While there, I started having cramping and bleeding.  Not believing I could be in labor, we went back to Grandma Marion's house, and I laid on the couch.  Sure enough, contractions started coming every 2.5 minutes, and the hospital told me to come in.  The next morning, you were born, 5 weeks early and spent the next week in the NICU.  You did so well there, and once you came home....you raced all of the charts right back up to the very top.  That sort of sums up how you are too!  You don't want to be left behind, and you are hearty and strong in everything you do.  Now that we know you, your birth story fits you so very well! 

I wish I could somehow capture this past year.....bottle it up so that I won't ever lose it.  I don't want it to go away, my son.  It's been challenging at times, to be sure.  You were a two year old, after all!  However, this past year has been full of so much joy seeing you develop and learn.  It has been full of innocence and purity....a coming of self and developing a fierce independence that coexists just as strongly with a desire to do and say everything your big brother Caleb does.  You see, that's the thing about life and the passage of time.  I struggle so often with being able to let go of today and fully embrace what tomorrow may bring.  I can look back and see all of the joy that I would have missed, and inevitably some of the pain, had I stayed in the "spot" I was afraid to leave. But, time doesn't give us that choice. It's as if we are a passenger on the train of time.  Looking out the window, taking stops along the way, but always going forward - never returning to any particular spot. 

Well, in my attempts to capture a few of the joys, I'm going to write a few down.  Yes, I will likely forget some incredible moments.  365 days is hard to remember on a play-by-play.  Had I not jotted some of these down, I would not have remembered them...As I read over the list, memories flood my mind that would have remained hidden.  But here is some of what I have loved, and am thankful to have captured:

I love.....
....How you now speak in complete sentences, even if the words aren't all quite right.  My recent favorite of your purple dinosaur card from Auntie Jenifer, "I luv dis fing."  (I love this thing).  Another common phrase
is "I no like adacados or tuh-matoes!"
Earlier in the year, you only had few word sentences such as
 - "Mama crying.  Bonk my head. KB knock over me grass.  Crying." 
 - Or, with a scowl and a pout, "I'm fussy...";
 - "Go poddy sooo bat";
 - Or, with head cocked to the side and inquisitive look on your scrunched up face "Yours hat?
    Yours coat? Mys car?";
 - Or, with your chin tucked down and a knowing look, "Race car....fast"
 - Or, laughing "Siwy Goose Goose Goose!"
 - Or how you would say "First..." all of the time.
 - Or "Wurz it?" when you were looking for something
 - Or, shaking head from side to side..."No like it my brefest"
 - Or, "Noder one?" (another one?)
 - Or, "Oh right?" (alright?)
 - Or, "Nakins" (napkins)


When you began to sing, you would sing the same line over and over again throughout the entire song. "Fossy the Soman", "Blessed Assurance", and "Jesus Loves Me" being some that come to mind.  (January was the first time you sang alone, by yourself in the car on Grace Avenue on our way to Starbucks.  You sang "Jesus loves me" followed by "Jingle Bells....Jingle Bells".  Papa and I both looked at each other with that look - mist in our eyes accompanied by a lump in our throat and joy in our heart.  It is the simultaneous joy and sorrow of recognizing a first....which is also a last.

You would hold out your cheek with a smile and say "Kiss cheek?"...then want to kiss ours with your plump, wet lips.  You still like to give lots of kisses....on both cheeks, on both eyelids, on my forehead, my chin, my nose, and yes - my teeth! 

I love...
...how your cheeks are still puffy and round, most often rosy.  They beg me to kiss them.
...how your lips are pouty and full, always ready to kiss my cheeks!
...how your eyelashes are miles and miles long, and when you close your eyes in protest to something,
   or just in being silly the slight tilt of each eye makes the lashes laying on your cheeks the sweetest sight.
...how you scrunch your face and tuck your chin and give a little grin.....joy shines through. You can't hide it!
...how you call Caleb "Kay lub"  now, but only at the beginning of the year it was "KB" (what he used to
   call  himself when he was first talking and our nickname for him now)
...how you call Anna Ruth "Anna Roof", when you are not calling her "Missy"....the most common name
   you call her. 
...how you call oil "oye oye"
...how you replace all "th" sounds with an "f"....."Truf", "Fanks", "Fank You", "Wif"
...how you say "Fanks" with such graciousness and expression
...how you call Potty Talk "Toddy Pok"
...how you say "Will you cuddle wif me?" with your head cocked to the side and your brows furrowed
   in what we call your "concerned brow". Oh - I love you Emet!
...how you and Caleb must have the same things...if Caleb has Tiny Tiger, then you need Tiny Puppy.   
   He has Toto, you have Toto. He has Sa-sa-sa, You have Sa-sa-sa.  He has "Lil Mucky"
   (Little Monkey),  you have "Lil Mucky". He has Bob, you have Bob. He has Larry, you have Larry.
   I believe Caleb started this, but you latched on immediately, and you both hold your "friends" near
   and dear to your heart.   A frequent phrase is "Here's Kayub's Toto. Where's my Toto?"  You have
   a Harry and Caleb has a Straton that I bought for you in England when I was pregnant with Caleb. 
   You hardly can remember that you each don't have one of those also.
...how when you are REALLY excited, you laugh and roar almost as one.  The time I'm thinking of is riding
   the cow train at the Sauvie Island Pumpkin Patch.  You got so excited, you stood up and laughed and
   roared.  The guy driving the tractor turned around and laughed over the noise.  I would have given anything
   to record it! 
...how when you get excited about something, your eyes get so big they practically pop out of your head!
...how you say CHEESE (it sort of sounds like CHAYSE) for pictures.
...how after Uncle Norman and Aunt Maggie visited from Mississippi, you started to say "payants"
   instead of pants
...how all summer long, you would bring me boquets of dandilions, with the shortest stems one
   could imagine!
...how when we hear siren's while driving or in the house, you're the first to say, "Mama!! We need to pray!"
...how when you pray, you say things like, "Dear God, please help for Amily" (Dear God, please help Emily)
...how the past, present, and the future get mixed up, "I wish I could have a shirt like that when I was a Papa"
...how you tuck your chin down, furrow your brows and poke out your lower lip, with a twinkle in your eyes

I love...
....how you slept in Caleb's big-boy bed to try moving out of your crib before the big move to bunkbeds
    this summer! (And you are doing so very well in your new big-boy bunk bed!)

I love...
...how you take on what your brother and the family does.  Often, you are the instigator now to say
   "Guard the house baby girl Greta and baby boy Samson" when we drive out of the driveway.

I love...
...how you resolutely repeat nearly everything Caleb asks for or says as if it is your very own desire,
   thought, and oppinion.  Perhaps it is.  Or, perhaps you just look up to your big brother and think what
   he wants must be what is best, and you don't want anything less for yourself!

I love...
...that you prayed your first prayer this year, on your own.....and now take turns with the rest of us praying
   at meals and before bed.

I love..
....how when you have the Ordway Family Prayer Council with Papa each night how you have a list a
    mile long for people you want to pray for. 

I love...
...how when you went potty in the toilet for the first time this year (on January 13th!) you announced,
   "I'm stinky!"

I love...
...how you are so passionate in your cries and in your love.  You simply are who you are, and I love you
   that way!

I love..
...how you love to spend time with me.  How..when I suggest it, you enthusiastically say "Sure!"

I love...
...how you most often share what you have with a willing "Sure!" (when something isn't ripped from
   your hands by your big brother)

I love...
...how on your birthday, you were almost shy about all of the attention we were lavishing on you, and
   your wants and desires were simple: (Life Cereal for breakfast and lunch.  Pizza for dinner, and Life Cereal
   for dessert! :-) )

Words cannot define you, little one. The closest word I can come up with to capture your spirit is your name itself. Emet, the Hebrew word Truth. You are true to yourself, true to your family, true to the moment and how you feel just then.

May the LORD bless you and keep you, Emet.  May He make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you.  May the LORD show you His favor and give you His peace, my son.  We love you so much. 

Your Mama