Emet and Mama's First Date

Ah, the things we learn about people when we take the time to study them, removing them from their ordinary position within the daily grind, and setting them free to be their own, best self in the setting of their choice.

For the past week, Emet has repeatedly asked "How many days is it again until our date night, Mama?"  Since his big brother's date to the trampoline park, that has been Emet's goal, but when the time came and Mama's knee was not in any shape to be jumping on a trampoline, Emet decided he still wanted me to be his special date and selected a place where I could play along side him.  (God bless that little boy of mine!) The decision was made....off to Chuck E Cheese's we went.

"C'mon Mama!  Let's leave for our special date!" he kept saying as I tried to tie up the loose ends of the dinner I had begun for the family.  Papa took our picture in the yard, and the minute we hopped in the car, Emet...in his sweet, but knowing voice, said, "Oh wait!  Where are Caleb, Anna Ruth, and Gracie?  Oh, yeah!  They're not coming on our special date!"  And truly, I believe this night away from his siblings is just what he needed to make his little spirit soar. 

Emet was quiet the whole drive down, but the minute we pulled up to the parking spot right in front of the door that seemed especially for us, he could hardly wait to get out of the car.  He raced to the door, and just before he pulled it open, he looked back at me and sweetly said, "Thank you for taking me here, Mama."  Can a Mother's heart melt?

We ordered our food and sat down, Emet proudly carrying his new "upgraded" kids cup - a plastic cup with a big Chuck-E-Cheese head, which apparently comes with free refills forever.  Perhaps this will prove to be a good investment for our grandchildren....a family heirloom of sorts.  He asked me to sit right next to him. So there we sat, he anxiously awaiting his very own personal sized cheese pizza and happily sipping one of six glasses of soda, and me contentedly munching away on baby corn from the salad bar.  Ah.....bliss.  :-)

Once we finished our meal, Emet asked if I would watch while he climbed around in the overhead play structure.  I did, and then we headed over to purchase our tokens.  As the coupon we brought wasn't valid at that particular location, (figures), I was pleased to find such a nice employee who found one for me.

Fifteen dollars exchanged for ninety tarnished gold tokens, and we were on our way to fun.  We wandered around playing this game and that, but much to his Mama's delight, Emet seems to be as interested in the Skee Ball game as his Mama.  He would say things such as, "OK, Mama.  OK.  Just one more time on this game, then we're moving on!  OK?!"  Repeat several times.  Move on.  Come back. Repeat.

Some games were genuinely fun....like shooting hoops, or aiming to shoot water at blinking objects for points.....or holding on to the monkey's vibrating hand grips until you can't stand it any longer, or, I would argue, Skee Ball.  Other games, such as the treasure wheel, largely resembled casino gambling and were dominated by adults spending countless tokens on them.  (OK - I can see how Skee Ball might fit into this category as well, seeing how Emet and I could not seem to step away.)

Emet was a true delight, and what an encourager he was!  "Oh, good job, Mama!  You're doing an awesome job getting points!"  When I would say, "Well, this game isn't as good as my last one" he'd return, "No!  Just look at all of those tickets you've gotten!  You're doing awesome, Mama!" Or, when we went back for one of the many soda refills (Root Beer, Root Beer, Diet Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, Orange Soda, Diet Pepsi) , he said "Thanks again for bringing me here, Mama" in his sweet, quiet voice.

At the end of our time, we fed the tickets one by one to the ticket muncher....all 251 of them, then headed over to the store to carefully select our treasures.  In the end, Emet picked out a blue rocket for himself and an orange one for Caleb, sweet tarts for all, and a twizzler.  Yep - that was the end of fifteen dollars of tokens and 1.5 hours of ticket earnings.  Emet seemed pleased enough with his new found treasure, however.  He was quiet in the car for a bit, then said a little sadly...."I was going to pick out a rocket for Sissy too, but....I didn't."  I assured him that I would be willing to pitch in a dollar or two for a treat for Sissy at our next stop, Fred Meyer, where we were headed to purchase a Hot Wheel - his choice.  He ended up with a metalic green car, and Sissy with a baby bottle with disappearing banana juice.

Coming home far past bedtime, we snuck upstairs to brush teeth, change, and get ready for stories and snuggle.  I read him I'll Love You Forever, and I Love You the Purple-est, then snuggled him close and traced on his back.  Finally, after prayers were said and I tucked him in, I saw him hopping out of his bed to grab his Hot Wheel.  "Good night, Mama.  I love you," he said.  "I love you too, Sweet Bug.  God bless you, Dear Bug."

I was reminded tonight that my second born son Emet is an individual with a rare and beautiful spirit, and I had a chance to see the true character and humanity of my son.

I could plainly see that he, even as a child, has temptations that pull at him and lure him aside.  Though he wanted to move on from that Skee Ball game, it kept drawing him back, time and again.  Life has such lures as well, and it is my job to help train him up to be strong in his convictions and in the building of his character....so that his ability to avoid such traps is based on a habit of strong morals and character, just like his Papa.

I also was able to see how Emet is very appreciative, helpful, and wanting to encourage. He comes along side and doesn't insist on his way, but is willing to compromise and support in others decisions.  He offers assistance, but doesn't insist if he is turned down.  He is always looking to help and do his best, even if in his almost five year old state, he can be clumsy and slow.  He is trying his very best....all of the time.

It's hard to see each others' unique and special traits sometimes as we all struggle to find our way in the midst of a family dynamic....positioning among the siblings, defending your ground.  Date nights go a long way in providing refreshment, reminders, and insight into an individual...for Jason and I or our kids.  What a gift I received tonight.  All I had to do was show up!

I love you the blue-est, Emet.  I love you the blue-est.....just like you want me to. 

Caleb & Mama's First Date

It's funny how things occur to you as a fresh idea, as from no where.  I'd like to think it has something to do with the many requests for wisdom I send up to the Almighty.  In any case, this "date night" idea was one such of these ideas.  I presented the idea to Jason, and we both agreed that we wanted to give each of our four children some one-on-one time to look forward to that is planned and controlled entirely by them.  There are no distractions or unplanned holdups due to the wants and needs of their siblings.  The general plan is for Papa or Mama to take out one child per month on a mid week, evening date with a budget of around $25. 

Caleb, being ready to start school next week, was chosen to be first....and he chose me!!!  For several days he pondered his choice for our date - bouncing back and forth between the Jungle at Kids Club and the G6 Airpark - a trampoline extravaganza.  Meanwhile, the other children plotted their upcoming dates as well.  Emet has a fairly good grasp that he has another month to wait, while Anna Ruth asks every day, several times, if it is time to go see the princesses.  (She and I will be going to see the Disney Princesses on Ice in October.  It may be a long two months until then! :-) )

The big day arrived, and after Papa arrived home and we had finished dinner, we headed out for our big date!  Caleb brought along two of his stuffed friends, one for each of us.  (I had Toto the bear, and he had Monkey.)

I asked him if he wanted to swing by Costco first to pick up some construction paper for school.  He was quiet for a minute, so I assured him that it was completely up to him.  After thinking for a bit, he said "Well....I think I'll pass on that tonight."  "Ok" I said, "this is your night, so you decide where we go."  As I glanced in the rear view mirror, the sparkle in his eyes and the slightly turned up lips told me he was pleased of this fact.....and enjoying the freedom of being in charge and in command of Mama's attentions.

I think both of us were a bit intimidated on entering the G6 Airpark.  Other than the check in area, a snack bar, and some places to sit down....the entire warehouse was filled, wall to wall (in fact - up the walls!) with connecting trampolines!  We paid and ventured in.

You know that feeling you used to have as a child where you are overcome with delight and joy? I'm sure my expression matched Caleb's in that we were both almost giddy with the pleasure of this new, fun experience.  It was the kind of thing one might anticipate in a strange dream, being able to run all over a sea of giant trampolines, bouncing and flinging yourself about.  Caleb and I mostly stayed near each other, bouncing on connecting trampolines.  For the longest time, we bounced and grinned at each other, full of exuberance.  I was taken back to those first dates with Jason, once we were past the awkward first few, and we could really just let loose and have fun together....before the realities of life played into our time thoughts....when our relationship was all about dating and building the foundation of a lifelong friendship.

And then it struck me.  I may have day to day, even minute to minute, interactions with Caleb at this point in time, but to build a long and lasting connection will take effort and focus.....just like it does with Jason.  And, it's never a job to be "checked off", for all relationships take ongoing effort.  I don't get an automatic "in" just because I'm his mom.  As we continued to bounce, smiling at each other, my mind was filled with thoughts.  A time will come when outside influences will begin to take a larger piece of his thinking.  I want to be a primary influence in his life....one that he trusts to come to for advice and discussion....but I'll have to earn that spot.  And nights like this one, I believe, are the building blocks for such a relationship.  I found myself hoping that we could repeat this night sometime.  I know he'll probably alternate back and forth between Jason and I, knowing Caleb and his caring, sensitive spirit, but I'd love to be his date a couple of times a year.  What?!  That's it?  Only a handful of dates before he's a teenager?!

We left the main bounce area and headed into the foam pits.  More trampolines from which you could launch into giant foam blocks supported by, of course, more trampolines!  We would insert little breaks every now and then during which we would sit on the couches and review our pictures and videos from the night so far...him catching his breath and me resting my rapidly weakening knees.

Finally, we figured we'd had enough, picked up a tall extra caramel, Caramel and Cream Frappuccino from the Starbucks drive through for Caleb and sneaked into our house.  Papa and the other kids were still watching a movie, so Caleb and I climbed up on top of Mama and Papa's bed with a stack of Origami paper and an instruction book I've had since I was a little girl that my own dad had brought back from Japan for me. Mind you, when I was a little girl, the instructions were intimidating to me, so I never attempted it.  However, I'm so glad I've kept it all of these years!  Caleb has been so fascinated with building complex paper airplanes as of late, I just knew he would be fascinated with Origami.  And he was.  I was amazed by his ability to read the folding diagrams and make sense of them. 

Sure enough, one lantern, one fox puppet, a You Tube instructional video, and a paper crane later....we felt quite accomplished, changed into our pjs and were ready to head up to his bed for a story and snuggles. 

I read I Love You the Purplest to him, and he loved that the Mom in the story was called Mama....just like me.  After that, Caleb asked if I would tell him the story of Hansel and Gretel....not Papa's version, Hansel and Gretel the Two Cows...but the real version.

Then, as we turned out the light, Caleb said, "Mama, what was your favorite part of our date night?  Mine was jumping on the trampolines."

"Mine was just being with you, Caleb" I said "...just being with you."