For those of us who consider ourselves to be "planners", "type A personalities", or "detail oriented", passing your pregnancy due date is certainly a lesson in patience and control. That being said - the whole experience of pregnancy definitely works on these things, for there is very little one can do to change how the pregnancy is going. Yet, as you near the end - there is a special challenge of not being able to know exactly when the baby will arrive! And, once you pass the prescribed date of expected arrival, it just becomes a waiting game. There are 100 formulas - physical, herbal, medicinal, and otherwise to induce labor. Trust me - I've tried most, they don't always work.
It definitely makes me think of all of the perceived control I feel I have in my life.....and yet, in the grand scheme of things - I have very little control over what happens from day to day at all. Yes, there are things we can do to monitor and manage.......our health, fitness, finances, housekeeping, etc. However, in the big picture, we have little control over the larger picture of these things. All we have to do is think of those we know who have been the picture of good health and fitness....who have died of a sudden heart attack or in an accident. Those who have saved and managed their money well all of their lives, yet an economic or circumstancial crisis wipes out their life savings or takes away their income.
When Jason broke his back in August of 2005, the neurosurgeon said it was an absolute miracle that he was not killed, or at the very minimum paralyzed. He had never seen anything like it. Yet, Jason ran the Portland Marathon in October of 2008 - three short years later. I don't believe this to be a testament to good fortune or guaranteed exclusion from life's hard times. However, it does go to show that there are things that happen, both for good and for bad which are completely outside of our control. Controlling is not our job. Being good stewards of what we have? Our bodies? Our money? Our possessions? Absolutely. Yet the minute we begin to feel power and control over our circumstances - watch out. We're always in for a suprise.
I am reminded of the passage in Matthew (34-37). "But I say to you, make no oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is the footstool of His feet, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the Great King. Nor shall you make an oath by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. But let your statement be, ‘Yes, yes’ or ‘No, no’; anything beyond these is of evil. "
I love that - "You cannot make one hair white or black". Ha! We can try it.....we can dye it!! But, in the end....the roots will grow out to be whatever color they are meant to be. That's just the way it is.
So - back to being 40 weeks, 6 days pregnant.......trying to plan the boys' birthday party to correspond with family being in town for Anna Ruth's arrival - not to mention the family pictures I had scheduled for this coming Saturday, "certain" she would have arrived by now.......The house is organized, laundry and dishes done, car detailed, bags packed. Yet, here I sit waiting.
"But as for me, I will watch expectantly for the LORD; I will wait for the God of my salvation. My God will hear me........Though I sit in darkness, the LORD will be my light." (from Micah 7:7-8)
"There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven.."
Ecclesiastes 3:1
I'm but a thread in a tapestry. I really don't know exactly where I fit into the big picture, but I guess I'll just try to be content as a thread right now. Hmmmm....I wonder what color thread I am? Do I like that color? Can I change it? :-)
