Friday, September 30, 2011

thankful to be rich

A friend posted a thought today...."What if we woke up tomorrow morning and only had the things we remembered to thank God for today?"

In the wee hours of this morning, I lay awake in bed, waiting for sleep but having a hard time drifting there due both to the sharp little pokes, prods, kicks and nudges from the little one inside of me.  And in those moments, I was so thankful.  ...So thankful that the Creator of the Universe was hard at work inside of me, knitting together yet another precious life.  We plan for this to be our last pregnancy, so in the midst of what has been a more difficult pregnancy for me, I am trying to treasure the experience of life inside one last time.  Nothing compares.

This morning as Jason got ready for work, he helped me get out of bed to go to the bathroom, then helped me back and tucked me into our big down comforter, kissed me, then left for work. How blessed I am to be so tenderly cared for.  Later in the afternoon, we exchanged e-mails about how to approach what is normally our sacred Friday family night.  We ended up deciding to part ways for the evening, but both of us would rather have been together.  For this sweet romance, I am so thankful.

Earlier today, I picked up Caleb from Kindergarten.  There he sat next to his teacher on the curb waiting for me to come get him.  As he saw me, his eyes lit up and he seemed to forget his newly found status as a big Kinder-gardener   "Mama!" he happily cried out and came to give me a big squeeze. And my heart was thankful.

Today, I spoke with my both of my parents on the phone at one point or another.....parents who are always encouraging me, always praying for me, always helping me to live out my faith despite my struggles.  For them and the great spiritual legacy they are leaving to me, I am so very thankful.

After naptime today, Emet came downstairs and straight to the couch where I sat.  All he cared to do was snuggle next to his Mama and be held close. What a privilege to be the one he wants to hold him close.

Tonight, Jason and the boys are having a boys night at the Columbia River High School football game.  Anna Ruth and I stayed home to have a relaxing girls night.  It's been a while since I've had just her, and the only noise in the house was her little sing-song voice, babbling and singing happily away.  I couldn't understand much of what she said at all, but she seemed to be perfectly content and delighted.  We shared hot cocoa on the couch and read stories then headed upstairs for the bedtime routine she and Papa normally share.  More books were read, songs were sung in the rocking chair under the stars of her nightlight, and I held her and prayed with tears streaming down my cheeks. I asked her for a hug, and she put her arms around me and held on tight.  We rocked back and forth.....back and forth.....and she never let go.  I was so thankful to have that moment all to myself, just my little girl and I.

How is it that I am so blessed? More so, how is it that I so often fret and worry over every day life basics - houses, cars, finances, etc, when I hold a bounty of treasure in my very my heart.

If I woke tomorrow, and all I had was the things I stopped to be thankful for today...I would be ok.  I would be more than ok.  I would be rich. I am rich.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

that factory...

Thanks to the Cheesecake Factory and the Spaghetti Factory, our children now refer to restaurants as "Factories".  A typical question from either Caleb or Emet is phrased..."Can we sometime go to that factory where they serve......(insert - pancakes, ice cream, etc.)?"  :-)

I think that's called....

We shared one of those joyous family moments tonight.  I couldn't pass up recording it.

We have a copy of Lennart Nilsson's book LIFE, in which an endoscope was used to take pictures of the entire process of life's creation from the sperm and egg meeting to baby's birth.  With each child, we have used this book as a tool to teach them about the baby growing inside of Mama and to affirm the life that grows inside.

Tonight, Emet asked if we could all look at "the Baby book", as we call it, so we got down the book and turned to the pictures of the later stages of pregnancy.  Needless to say, a book like this can lead to a few interesting conversations, and although we are fairly open with the children, there is still a need to simplify the "creation process" for our young audience.

One of the pictures shows a full view of the baby inside at 26 weeks, including its gender identifiers.  One picture is of a girl, the other of a boy.  Emet innocently pointed to the girl's part and asked if that was her penis.  "No", Papa corrected, "that's a little girl."  Caleb chimed in with all of his 5 year old wisdom, "No, Emet.  I think that's called a peninsula."  :-)

Jason and I burst out in laughter, then the boys followed (not really knowing what was funny), but I think we all laughed for about 5 minutes, complete with tears running down our cheeks.  Oh to be 5 again!

Thursday, September 8, 2011

First Week of Kindergarten: Part II

How could I forget?!

Verdict #3:  "I like Kindergarten, but it's not the same as being home with Mama."

Ah, how I love that little boy!

First Week of Kindergarten

Verdict #1: Caleb's response to school:  "I like Kindergarten.  It's awesome!"

Verdict #2: Caleb is just like his Papa:  When asked to tell me about his day, his first response is..."I can't remember anything."  Then, as time goes on - details start to pop up here and there, with a few popping up several days after the fact.  :-)

Dropping him off was easy......until I started to walk away from the classroom.  Then tears, from out of nowhere, started to flood my eyes.  But, for the sake of the oncoming children and parents - I held them in.  I think Jason  felt the same way.

Here are a few pictures from his first day of school.....ever.....

Getting ready to leave the house

The family.....en route

Arriving at school

Here we are!

Looking for his name on the backpack lineup

Mama with her babies

We looked up to see Jason had made a surprise visit!! Family picture...

Facing the world on his own, with Tiny Tiger by his side...friends since birth

After his first class.  Success!!

Back at does go on...

enjoying the last bits of summer

Tuesday, September 6, 2011


Today was an ordinary weekday for this Mama and her babies, except that it was a little bitter-sweet.  Today was the last day before Caleb starts Kindergarten. My first baby bird beginning to spread his wings, about to flutter out of the nest for a few hours each day.

There's nothing too abnormal in this, right?  We do it every Sunday as he goes off to his Sunday school classes.  But for me it signifies something much greater.  Today was the very last day I will have all of my children at home with me, under my constant care, without a schedule of their own.  Tomorrow begins the next 13-17+ years of Caleb's life in school.

Two little boys that have played side by side, day by day, since either of them can remember will henceforth be separated more and more over time, starting.....Tomorrow.  The years of the mighty yellow dump trucks will soon be a distant memory.  Tonight seemed especially joyful and boisterous as my two little naked boys raced around the house before their showers playing "spanking tag".  Happy giggles abounded.  Then Caleb stepped into the shower all by himself for the second time.  He's growing up.

There have been plenty of tears from my tender hearted Caleb in the past few days, likely related to school.  He says he doesn't want to be away from home, away from his Mama.  He asked me today if he would still want to snuggle with me when he was in high school.  I told him probably not, and that made him sob.  It made me cry too.

It seemed like just yesterday we were thinking ahead to when Caleb would go to school, saying "We still have a few years to figure it out."  Tomorrow.  ........It was a moment ago I contemplated the decision to lay aside my career and stay at home full time, at least until my children were in school.  And boy, did that time seem like an eternity.  Tomorrow.  Where did the time go?  Away.

My mom told me once that's the thing about time.  The days drag on, while the years slip away.  I hope I am learning.  I hope I am loving.  I hope I have absorbed every minute of every day of these precious years at home with my babies.

It struck me today, since I'm pregnant with what we assume will be our last child, that I, Lord willing, have exactly that amount of time left with my youngest....the same amount of time I had with Caleb at home.  And though some days may drag on, it will be gone......Tomorrow.

Do I regret my decision to stay at home?  Never.  You can't buy back time, no matter how much money you have....and I wouldn't trade any single minute with my son.  Before I know it, they will all be  and experiencing life on their own.  Time will disappear like water pours through my hand, and someday soon that day will be.....Tomorrow.

Sweet blessings to you, my dear Caleb, from this Mama's sad heart.  I am excited for your future and am trying so hard to have open hands.  God bless you, my dear sweet bug.