Anna Ruth - I just held you today, for almost an hour, while you slept in my arms. You fell asleep after I nursed you, something you don't do much anymore, and both of your brothers were asleep upstairs for naptime. And so, I just snuggled you close and read. It reminded me of the times during your first few weeks of life, when you would fall asleep every night as I nursed you. I would hold you for a long time each night, Papa asleep on the couch by my side, before laying you down in your bed. I don't know when that stopped, but at sometime it just faded away and we don't do it anymore. You started to squirm or fuss when you were tired, and now when it is bedtime, you just want to be laid in your bed. Funny how it seems like so long ago, yet you are not quite 3 months old.
While I held you, I was reading a magazine from Focus on the Family called Thriving Families. There are several sections on the stages of children, 0-3, 4-7, 8-12, and teens - each with applicable stories and suggestions. As I read through these, it was as if I could literally feel time pass. Daily life races around me enough for me to have learned that these moments are precious and fleeting....that it is possible I might not have that chance again. So, as I read, I held you closer and closer, treasuring the moment in my heart.
The kitchen alarm went off to signal the end of Caleb's naptime. I jumped up from my seat with you still in my arms and turned it off, then I gently laid you - now awake - down in your swing.
It hit me then....that moment is over. Yes, I did treasure it. Yes, I soaked it up to the best of my ability. But irregardless - it's gone. And so, I'm thankful for that choice to stay there on the couch with you. I'm thankful for those stolen moments.