Emet and Mama's First Date

Ah, the things we learn about people when we take the time to study them, removing them from their ordinary position within the daily grind, and setting them free to be their own, best self in the setting of their choice.

For the past week, Emet has repeatedly asked "How many days is it again until our date night, Mama?"  Since his big brother's date to the trampoline park, that has been Emet's goal, but when the time came and Mama's knee was not in any shape to be jumping on a trampoline, Emet decided he still wanted me to be his special date and selected a place where I could play along side him.  (God bless that little boy of mine!) The decision was made....off to Chuck E Cheese's we went.

"C'mon Mama!  Let's leave for our special date!" he kept saying as I tried to tie up the loose ends of the dinner I had begun for the family.  Papa took our picture in the yard, and the minute we hopped in the car, Emet...in his sweet, but knowing voice, said, "Oh wait!  Where are Caleb, Anna Ruth, and Gracie?  Oh, yeah!  They're not coming on our special date!"  And truly, I believe this night away from his siblings is just what he needed to make his little spirit soar. 

Emet was quiet the whole drive down, but the minute we pulled up to the parking spot right in front of the door that seemed especially for us, he could hardly wait to get out of the car.  He raced to the door, and just before he pulled it open, he looked back at me and sweetly said, "Thank you for taking me here, Mama."  Can a Mother's heart melt?

We ordered our food and sat down, Emet proudly carrying his new "upgraded" kids cup - a plastic cup with a big Chuck-E-Cheese head, which apparently comes with free refills forever.  Perhaps this will prove to be a good investment for our grandchildren....a family heirloom of sorts.  He asked me to sit right next to him. So there we sat, he anxiously awaiting his very own personal sized cheese pizza and happily sipping one of six glasses of soda, and me contentedly munching away on baby corn from the salad bar.  Ah.....bliss.  :-)

Once we finished our meal, Emet asked if I would watch while he climbed around in the overhead play structure.  I did, and then we headed over to purchase our tokens.  As the coupon we brought wasn't valid at that particular location, (figures), I was pleased to find such a nice employee who found one for me.

Fifteen dollars exchanged for ninety tarnished gold tokens, and we were on our way to fun.  We wandered around playing this game and that, but much to his Mama's delight, Emet seems to be as interested in the Skee Ball game as his Mama.  He would say things such as, "OK, Mama.  OK.  Just one more time on this game, then we're moving on!  OK?!"  Repeat several times.  Move on.  Come back. Repeat.

Some games were genuinely fun....like shooting hoops, or aiming to shoot water at blinking objects for points.....or holding on to the monkey's vibrating hand grips until you can't stand it any longer, or, I would argue, Skee Ball.  Other games, such as the treasure wheel, largely resembled casino gambling and were dominated by adults spending countless tokens on them.  (OK - I can see how Skee Ball might fit into this category as well, seeing how Emet and I could not seem to step away.)

Emet was a true delight, and what an encourager he was!  "Oh, good job, Mama!  You're doing an awesome job getting points!"  When I would say, "Well, this game isn't as good as my last one" he'd return, "No!  Just look at all of those tickets you've gotten!  You're doing awesome, Mama!" Or, when we went back for one of the many soda refills (Root Beer, Root Beer, Diet Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, Orange Soda, Diet Pepsi) , he said "Thanks again for bringing me here, Mama" in his sweet, quiet voice.

At the end of our time, we fed the tickets one by one to the ticket muncher....all 251 of them, then headed over to the store to carefully select our treasures.  In the end, Emet picked out a blue rocket for himself and an orange one for Caleb, sweet tarts for all, and a twizzler.  Yep - that was the end of fifteen dollars of tokens and 1.5 hours of ticket earnings.  Emet seemed pleased enough with his new found treasure, however.  He was quiet in the car for a bit, then said a little sadly...."I was going to pick out a rocket for Sissy too, but....I didn't."  I assured him that I would be willing to pitch in a dollar or two for a treat for Sissy at our next stop, Fred Meyer, where we were headed to purchase a Hot Wheel - his choice.  He ended up with a metalic green car, and Sissy with a baby bottle with disappearing banana juice.

Coming home far past bedtime, we snuck upstairs to brush teeth, change, and get ready for stories and snuggle.  I read him I'll Love You Forever, and I Love You the Purple-est, then snuggled him close and traced on his back.  Finally, after prayers were said and I tucked him in, I saw him hopping out of his bed to grab his Hot Wheel.  "Good night, Mama.  I love you," he said.  "I love you too, Sweet Bug.  God bless you, Dear Bug."

I was reminded tonight that my second born son Emet is an individual with a rare and beautiful spirit, and I had a chance to see the true character and humanity of my son.

I could plainly see that he, even as a child, has temptations that pull at him and lure him aside.  Though he wanted to move on from that Skee Ball game, it kept drawing him back, time and again.  Life has such lures as well, and it is my job to help train him up to be strong in his convictions and in the building of his character....so that his ability to avoid such traps is based on a habit of strong morals and character, just like his Papa.

I also was able to see how Emet is very appreciative, helpful, and wanting to encourage. He comes along side and doesn't insist on his way, but is willing to compromise and support in others decisions.  He offers assistance, but doesn't insist if he is turned down.  He is always looking to help and do his best, even if in his almost five year old state, he can be clumsy and slow.  He is trying his very best....all of the time.

It's hard to see each others' unique and special traits sometimes as we all struggle to find our way in the midst of a family dynamic....positioning among the siblings, defending your ground.  Date nights go a long way in providing refreshment, reminders, and insight into an individual...for Jason and I or our kids.  What a gift I received tonight.  All I had to do was show up!

I love you the blue-est, Emet.  I love you the blue-est.....just like you want me to. 

Up up and away.....

You graduated from Kindergarten today.  Wow.  I can quickly reel back in my mind to a time when we had a few years to figure out where you would be going to school, and now you've already completed your first year.....taller, stronger, more mature. You're growing up before my very eyes.

Your Kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Prince, sent a letter home today.  It said: "Ten years from now if we meet on the street, your child and I, a light will shine to our eyes, a smile to our lips, and we shall feel the bond of understanding once more, this bond we feel today."  As I read this, it dawned on me.....you are on your own life's journey, just as I have been on mine all of these years.  You are collecting experiences all your own that will become your future memories. You will think back to your Kindergarten year, just as I think back to mine.

As the four Kindergarten classes gathered on stage to proudly sing their long practiced program for us, it was sweet to see each child with their own little sparkle.....their own way of looking for approval.  Their little countenances called out...."Someone is watching me.  Just me.  I feel special, and perhaps a bit shy."  Of course, this was acted out in all sorts of ways, from the exuberant to the poker faced.  

You were mostly straight faced. It may only have been Mama and Papa that could see the delighted smile cross your lips at some of the silly parts.....or the eyes that searched about to find us and to check for approval from time to time.  "Are you watching?  Do you see me?" they would say.  And, when your eyes connected with ours, it was almost as if you relaxed a bit.  

Afterwards, we all gathered for cookies and goodbyes in the gymnasium.  Pictures were taken...mostly with little girls who wanted their pictures taken with you (oh boy...here it starts).  Children clung to their parents instead of their friends.....a sign of your age and stage, but one that secretly makes me happy. 

We celebrated at IHOP, your choice, with Papa, your siblings, and Grandpa and Grandma B.  You actually read the card from Grandpa and Grandma, albeit slow and haltingly, but you read it!....a sign of the first grader you have become!  The whole way home, you and Emet excitedly chatted about what you would play when you got home.  I remember that feeling of complete freedom as a child....the day school was out for the summer.  FREEDOM. And what will you and your brother and sisters get into this summer? I can only imagine!  

Yet....part of you is so much like me.  It wasn't long we were home before tears welled up and you were racked with sobs crying, "I will never see Mrs. Prince again!"  Despite the reassurances, you are realizing at a deeper level that indeed - things will never be the same again.  She will likely never again be your teacher. You will never again be in that class, with those kids.....doing the routine that you have done day in and day out for the better part of a year.  Those are all simply memories now. As Mrs. Prince's letter read, "I give them back reluctantly, for having spent these months together in the narrow confines of a crowded classroom, we have all grown close, have become a part of each other, and we shall always retain a little of each other."  I so know this feeling, son.  That continual letting go.  Embracing change without weeping for the past is hard......allowing it to become a part of who you are, and knowing there will always be imprints on your heart from each experience.

As for me.....all of this is magnified as a parent.  Especially since you are my first baby.  You are the one with whom I am experiencing all of my own firsts as a parent.  With you I learn and grow.  Forgive me if I sometimes stare at you blankly when you ask me questions...."Can I do this....or that?"  "May I watch this or that?" .....or when you say something, and I'm processing if it's ok or not. The truth is....I don't know!  I'm figuring it out on the fly....often not anticipating or expecting the next move. 

But, one thing I can say, Caleb....is this.  I am proud to be your Mama.  And, as you shed tears while you move along the process....I'll be shedding them right alongside you.  Your goodbyes will be mine as well.  No matter how strong and independent you become, I will always be a part of you....and you of me.  I am your Mama, and there is no graduation from that.  I love you, my Sweet Boy.  

Happy Kindergarten Graduation! 

Mother's Day 2012

I would be remiss not to capture this Mother's Day in writing, for it is the epitome of my days as a Mama in this stage of life.

Starting Friday, Caleb was insistently asking what my second favorite ride at Disneyland was.  I think I finally, under his suggestion, decided on Thunder Mountain Railroad.  And my sweet Jason continually reminded the children "This is Mama's special weekend" with each choice that was to be made.

Caleb with a gleam in his eye, proudly handed me the Mother's Day gift he had made in school, along with his picture on a Sunflower that doubled as my card.  Inside was a drawing of Caleb and I in the car, heading to Starbucks, because he said his favorite thing to do was to go on special dates with me. Emet immediately realized that he too wanted to give something to me, so he and Caleb started planning what they could do for me.

Saturday was spent preparing and planting the garden, and Jason slaved away cutting out sod with a shovel to create a new garden plot, since Anna Ruth and I purchased way too many seeds and starts for our normal spot during our Mama - Daughter outing.   The kids played outside and helped me to plant the seeds, and the day ended with Jason and I snuggling up to watch Band of Brothers.

Sunday arrived and I was greeted by the reality that not everyone remembers special times every moment of the day.  There were a few whines as the children dressed for Sunday School and service.  Somewhere in there, Emet excitedly presented me with Caleb's gift.....a plastic flower pot that said, "Your Love Makes Me Bloom".  The kids are so excited for me to plant something in it.

Picking the children up from Sunday School, I was presented with a handful of papers (as usual), except this batch was of Mother's Day cards the children had made.  Emet's was a basket that he had decorated with flowers and stickers, and Caleb had drawn a picture of he and I holding hands in front of the Disneyland Castle and on the Thunder Mountain Railroad together.  Anna Ruth colored some purple on a picture of a mom and little girl and made a Popsicle stick flower.  That said, when I asked her if they were for me, she put on her "Angry Bird" face and said, "No, Me!"  So, apparently she made herself a Mothers Day card and flower.  She continues to be quite insistent about it.

After a free brunch buffet at Costco, and a swing through Starbucks for an extra special treat of Strawberry Frappuccinos for the kids (for making me a Mama) and an Iced Mocha for me (Jason had his at Costco), we headed home for another day in the garden.

As is typical in the life of a Mama of little ones....the afternoon didn't go quite as planned.  Instead of being outside with my family in the amazing sunshine, I mostly stayed inside and tried to pick up, process just "one more load of laundry"  (because maybe then I could finally catch up...will I ever learn?), then cleaned up from Anna Ruth time and again after what may have been a reaction to shellfish.  Papa held Ru Bear in the cool breeze outside, while the boys played on the Slip n Slide and Gracie in her play station.

The day was dabbled with two beautiful bouquets of buttercups, wrapped with blue painters tape, and two wadded $5 bills, one each from Caleb and Emet's own money, that are to be put towards a pedicure for me (and supplemented by Papa).  They had such pride in their gifts to me.  And though they will likely only understand this when they are parents.....the act of the gifts was the best gift of all.

Someday, I too will join in the millions of Mama's (including my own) that receive a call on Mother's Day.  Some years there's a card and gift (delivered weeks late if at all)....some year's there's not.  It's not that the thought isn't there, it's that I'm experiencing the above stage of life....which as joyous as it is, consumes my ability to get many extras done.  And, hopefully then, I'll be able to look back on this sweet and all consuming part of life, where I, Mama, am the only woman in their world....and I am dearly loved....relaxing in the sunshine, iced coffee and book in hand.  :-)