I've always had a hard time letting go.....of anything, really. Considering I am now holding the baby girl we plan to be our last, each and every moment becomes all the more poignant. Each baby item used for the last time, each article of clothing I have seen both of my girls wear. The little sage green bed that all four of my babies have slept in as newborns...with the little soft white bears that have enchanted them all. Sweet memories come to mind as I think of them.
As the months have passed, my pile of "now too small" baby girl clothes has continued to grow in the bin beneath our bed. A couple of times, I have thought to offer the clothes to someone, but I just couldn't bring myself to part with them. It's the fact that each thing brings memories flooding back to my heart. Sure, some of the extra special outfits, I'll set aside. Who knows, maybe I'll keep them forever. But most of the other clothes....well...I know it's not practical to keep them all. Some might not have even been my favorites. I just haven't been able to let go.
This weekend, I came to a turning point. One of the amazing teenage girls in our church is headed to Guatamala to spend her summer volunteering in an orphanage. She asked if anyone has any new or gently used clothes for children under age five. Hmmm. Yep. I might have a few. I figured I could share a few things, so I brought out the bin of clothes and began to sort through them. One at a time, I brought out the tiny pieces of clothing, and I began to experience a peace about letting go.....a freedom of sorts. These precious and beloved clothes would go to clothe babies who have no mother. The snuggles and loves given to these clothes due to their wearers could be transferred to another little child. The blessings and the mother's prayers would now embrace another child who God loves no less than my own babies.
More rapidly now, I was pulling the tiny clothes out of the box and passing them to the pile for Guatemala. Each item received a momentary pause as I would reflect upon the memories of my own precious babies wearing it.....some longer than others. Yet, the hesitation was gone. I smiled as I laid each aside.
These little clothes would be a blessing to someone who has nothing. They would become a cloak of love, snuggles, and prayer on the abandoned and unloved. Yes, these tiny clothes will have new purpose. And, since they are a part of my own family's past, I will see them in pictures, and I will pray. I will pray for not only for their former occupants.....but for all the wearers of these little clothes. And maybe in this way, they too, will experience a Mother's love......through me and through the beautiful people such as McKenna who give their time and hearts to love on these little ones.
"Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me." Mark 9:37